#“i'm no jedi” “actually my name is rex” and “it's captain sir

[licorishh]

i be like "i miss rex a normal amount" and then i almost pass out watching scene packs

(alternate versions under the cut because i am indecisiveeee)

[yellowocaballero]

Update: finished the new Order 66 story, which is 40k words and took a week. It occurs to me that I've written 80k words in like three weeks. In my defense, there is literally nothing easier to write than this AU.

Well, both very easy and very hard. I got kind of experimental with the Order 66 story and I still have to see if it remotely accomplishes what I want to accomplish. We will see. I'm not sure if you could call this the story of a painfully adorable child slowly broken by two years of child soldiership and the weirdest child abuse of all time but I'm not sure you couldn't NOT call it that.

Text of images under cut.

A hand wrapped around Obi-Wan’s ankle and yanked.

Obi-Wan fought for his life. He grabbed onto the seams of the air vent, fingernails scrabbling for purchase, and kicked out ineffectually with his uncaptured foot. Metal slid around him before fluorescent lighting burst in his vision, illuminating a world tumbling over as he was shucked unceremoniously from the air vent. The grip on his ankle remained firm, but Obi-Wan flopped upside down and was left to stare upwards from the floor at his captor.

“Commander Kenobi,” Marshal Commander Cody said, voice icy. “What are you doing?”

“Uh.” Obi-Wan made little jazz hands. “Just hanging around?”

Hilariously, Cody was standing on a step stool. He had actually gone through the effort of tracking him through the vents, finding a stepstool, removing a grate cover at exactly the right spot, and pulling Obi-Wan out through the hole. That was an usually large amount of time and energy spent on Obi-Wan of all people. 

The joke didn’t land. Obi-Wan expected no differently. Cody famously had no sense of humor. “Aren’t you supposed to be preparing for hitting planetside soon?”

“I’m prepped! I’m packed! My lightsaber’s cleaned! My boots are oiled! I’m just doing this in my free time -”

Slowly, through gritted teeth, Cody said, “Do you try to infiltrate the enlisted men’s debriefings in your free time often?”

“Only when I want to see the men! Just say hi! Catch some gossip! It’s not fair that you guys have all these secret meetings! You never include me, it’s quite unfair.”

Cody stared at him. Obi-Wan attempted a winning grin. Cody’s gaze slowly panned downwards, at the incriminating yard gap between the floor and Obi-Wan’s head. “Heard something interesting from my brother the other day.”

“Don’t you got five million of those?”

“We’re close. His name’s Bly. I think his padawan commander is a friend of yours.” Oh, yeah! Quinlan! He said Bly was the goofiest clone ever, but that he was nice. He was not willing to swap. “He has reliably informed me that, should you drop them from a moderate height, Jedi children bounce.”

Wait. Wait! He wasn’t a child, he was thirteen! Semantics were important! “Only Quinlan! That’s only Quinlan!”

“Marshal Commander Bly’s intel is usually reliable.”

“This is torture,” Obi-Wan said, horrified. “You’re torturing me for information. You are literally going against the Alderaan Convention right now.”

Straight faced, Cody said, “You’d know if I was torturing you, sir.”

“Let me down -”

“Just one second.” Cody held his arm comm up to his mouth, looking Obi-Wan dead in the eyes as he spoke. “Captain Rex, disband the enlisted men’s briefing and tell the men to report to Hallway Besh-29. I have something they’d want to see.” 

Obi-Wan screeched. 

Cody looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. “I thought you wanted to be included, sir.”

“Cody!”

Writing update

I should probably give an update because things been slightly whack. Roughly, in order:

Was having issues with my medication, and writing got really difficult. Wanted to write Naruto, could not. Continued writing that Jason Todd story because what am I going to do, not write?

Fix medication issues. Feel like I can write again. Open up literally almost fucking random word document, see that it was the first paragraph of the More Than Zero rewrite (the story from my Star Wars No Chip AU) that I never did.

Go nuts.

Sixty pages into doing the rewrite, I decide that actually this story cannot function at all if I don't stop writing it and go write an entirely different story, which is somehow necessary for the quality of this story. Time to write the one of the many other No Chip AU stories I never got around to writing.

Go nuts.

40k of the Neyo story now exists. It's good, mostly.

Realize at this point that I cannot post a 40k fic on Tumblr and that the complete series is now clicked into my mind as an anthology, which means that it needs to go on AO3.

For several different reasons, one of which is admittedly marketing, I would like the series to stand on its own, so I need to completely rewrite the Order 66 story to establish everything about the universe that the ordinary roleswap fics established.

Realize I've gone nuts.

Decide to completely rewrite the Order 66 story anyway, it is at least twice as long and basically completely different.

As I do this, I realize that now the Rex buildingsroman story doesn't work at all, so I need to cut one section of that and rewrite a portion of it as well.

I would also like to make some semi-significant changes to the Bly story.

I am currently in the state of going nuts and will continue to be going nuts until some undetermined point in the future, at which point I will post every single fic in one story on AO3. There will be a metanarrative.

Decide that I was completely correct in aggravating literally everybody by refusing to post this on AO3, because if I had posted it on AO3 then it would have been way more difficult to rewrite all of this. I also feel a lot more confident in the quality of the rewritten versions and have, fortunately, improved over the last two years as a writer.

I think.

SO YES, I WILL BE POSTING IT ON AO3 THIS TIME. OKAY?

This is all BIG news for like maybe three people. All that to say, I will not be posting anything for a bit and then So Much will be posted. The revamped series should stand on its own and not need any knowledge of its parent AU. This is why I've disappeared off the face of the Earth. I will come back with Star Wars.

[phoenixyfriend]

Mos Espa resident: Who's the Mando?

Shmi, feigning oblivious innocence: My brother-in-law.

Anyway, here's some more Nonsense Thoughts:

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:10 PM Does he always wear a helmet? Bc just imagine how he blushes

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:11 PM He usually wears it outdoors because the helmet has climate control, and is a +3 to intimidation [4:11 PM]He blushes but more frequently he's just exasperated as hell because General, This Is Embarrassing, Specifically For You

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:13 PM If Tatooine is cool with Poly Stuff and if Quin ever succeeds at getting into Rex’s pants. Just imagine him doing introductions like “this is my dearest darling beautiful husband Rex, and this is his boyfriend Quinlan”

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:14 PM I can actually see Quinlan offering to be a booty call for Anakin, because Anakin has a Very Hard Time falling in love and is still mourning his wife, but sex is a nice way to feel less alone and, well, Quinlan got Trust [4:15 PM]But also just like [4:15 PM]Anakin and Rex's marriage was so very much about Keeping Ahsoka Safe and not, you know, love, that the Council approved of it happening but also forgot to ask them to divorce/annul it [4:16 PM]So Anakin takes great joy in, once they're at the temple, just greeting Rex in absurd spousal manners

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:18 PM Hey it’s vague in canon but tbh, if the reason marriage isn’t allowed is mostly about like, not taking vows that conflict with your duty, the council might not really care all that much [4:19 PM]They’re fake married and Anakin’s not really under their direct authority anyways

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:26 PM Absolutely! This was done in direct relation to his duty towards his padawan, and if anyone understands putting the safety of the galaxy before personal needs, it's the soldier that was raised to it.

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:27 PM They still think he’s obnoxious though. Obviously

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:28 PM Depa: I'm fairly certain this isn't what regular marriages look like. Anakin: It's what my first marriage looked like. Depa: ...did... did your first spouse react the way your current one does? Anakin: No, she told me [extremely floral metaphor for love]. Depa: ...maybe I just don't know what marriage looks like.

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:30 PM Depa: turns to Rex is this what marriage looks like? Rex: I have no idea

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:32 PM The first time anyone meets him, Rex introduces himself as "Captain Rex Torrent" because 1. He gets to have a last name and obviously he's going to honor his brothers where he can 2. If he gives a title with the first introduction, people don't dither about how to address him later 3. He can end the line with sir/ma'am and between that and "Captain" and the armor, people will fill in the blanks later about his military behavior without him having to do much leading by the nose [4:32 PM]I'm split on whether or not he gets real beskar at some point because it's expensive and I feel like they usually save up money for freeing slaves instead

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:35 PM Quin gets a hold of some somehow. Maybe not a lot but alloys are good so. The household has a little internal debate on whether to sell it or get it forged and but then Rex gets injured in a fight (a rarity but still a possibility)

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:37 PM They get in contact with Jango and break to him that this entire plot is fucked up and Jango's like 'well shit you're my time-traveling clone and I guess that makes you family and apparently you're holding pretty well to the Resol'nare despite never swearing it and you're even raising a warrior, like sure it's a Jedi kid and a Jedi spouse, but damn, okay, you're getting beskar from the family vault' and Rex is very "what just happened"

gelpens — Today at 4:37 PM I’m not sure Jango would have a family vault

phoenixyfriend — Today at 4:37 PM I thought about adding a line about 'since when is there a family vault' [4:37 PM]But it was already too long

Atagotiak Eats Live Bugs — Today at 4:38 PM Jango is currently plotting genocide. ‘Course you could assume Sith compulsions have something to do with that, maybe.

Fake Married Anakin/Rex in the time travel mess have a recurring interaction that is just

Anakin, throwing himself dramatically over Rex: OH, MY DARLING HUSBAND

Rex: I am going to put sand in your bed

Anakin: Wait no I take it back